Tips to Prepare for Your Child Custody Hearing

Going through a divorce can be very difficult, especially when children are involved. It is incredibly important to be sensitive and intentional with your child during the divorce process. It is imperative to properly prepare for your child custody case in order to obtain the best outcome. There are a lot of things you can do before and during your custody case that will affect the results, so it is important to do your research and understand what the court will be looking at during this time. Not all cases have to end up with a lenghty child custody dispute.

Top Child Custody Hearing Tips:

Understand Your State’s Child-Custody Laws.

In California, courts award custody of children based on what they consider to be the best interests of the child. In determining a child’s best interests, California law considers the health, safety, and welfare of the child along with the benefit from regular contact with both parents. California judges prefer to maintain stability and continuity in a child’s environment. If you are fighting for sole custody, you need to be prepared to prove why your child’s other parent is not fit to have any custody.

Bring Important Documents to Your Attorney.

Work with your San Diego Family Law Attorney to determine what documents to file with the court ahead of time and which to bring with you to court for your child-custody hearing. We often recommend that parents create a written log that details the length of time you spend with your child and how often, along with a phone log for when your child talks to their other parent while they are in your custody. If you have already separated households, be sure to bring the current visitation schedule, proof of child-support payments (if any), and other records your attorney requests or you think may be important. Read this article to learn more about important additional documentation to bring with you to your child-custody hearing.

Spend Time With Your Children.

Take advantage of the time you have with your children and engage with them! Go to their school events, be supportive at their sports games, and do things with your children as a family. Make positive memories together during this otherwise difficult time, your children deserve it. This is important parenting time.

Be Responsible and Demonstrate Good Character.

Make sure to pick your children up on time for all visitation, appointments, school, sports activities, etc. Support your children through all that they are doing, they really need you right now. Get involved with your children’s relationships across the board. Get to know their teachers, coaches, friends, and their friend’s parents. It is important to show these people that you are an active parent. You might consider asking them to serve as a witness for you in the future. The court also want to see that you are responsible and will be there for your children.

Create a Safe and Wholesome Environment for Your Child.

Your home should be a safe place for a child to live. Childproof your home to ensure there are no dangers lurking around. Weapons should not be in the home, but if they are, make sure they are safely locked away. Drive carefully always, but especially when your children are with you. Even a speeding ticket can affect the outcome of your case. Do not let anyone in your home or around your children that can be deemed dangerous in any way. Show that you are a responsible parent by keeping your environment clean and safe at all times.

Never Put Your Children in a Difficult Position.

Don’t ask your child to choose who they would rather live with and try to influence them to want to live with you. Don’t talk poorly about your ex in front of your children. Never ask your children to say anything bad about their other parent. More often than not, courts won’t ask children to testify. Pressuring your kids can actually hurt your case in the end and, puts your children in an impossible position.

Be Flexible.

Be available for your kids and be flexible when it comes to their schedule. If they have to come home early because they are sick, or they need to go to an extra sport practice this week, rearrange your schedule to accommodate their needs. This shows you have the flexibility and willingness to handle whatever comes up for your kids. Being flexible also demonstrates that you place your children’s needs over your own.

Don’t Badmouth Your Ex.

One of the most common mistakes we see in child custody cases is when one parent talks poorly about their ex and/or argues with them in front of the judge. This is the quickest way to make yourself look immature and unable to set a good example for your kids. We understand that this is an emotional time for you, so talk to your closest friends about what you think about your ex. Don’t let that information or attitude slip up in front of the judge or your children.

Dress Appropriately.

First impressions are always important, especially when you have to present your case in front of a judge. We recommend that you talk to your San Diego divorce lawyer about what to wear. You want to dress in a way that sends the message that you are a responsible adult, so we typically advise that you wear something conservative and formal.

Overall, the best thing you can do during this difficult time is to be a strong support system for your child and set a good example for them. They are going through so much and it is a very confusing time for them. Being there for your children and supporting them in any way possible will make a difference, and others will see this. Don’t forget to keep your children’s needs as a top priority. After all, custody disputes are about the welfare of your children, not you or your ex.

If you are preparing for a child-custody hearing or you are considering filing for divorce, let's talk. We know you are going through a lot right now and we would love to help you move on easier. Not all cases have to become a legal custody battle.

 Let’s set up your free, confidential meeting today. Let us answer your questions.