How to Strengthen a Marriage and Avoid Divorce
Divorce can be a long and unruly process that can lead to feelings of loneliness, and no one seems to quite understand what you are going through. It often begins with separation, discussion of separation or a divorce, unhappiness on one or both sides of the marriage, or even a sudden decision by one or both spouses to get a divorce. While every marriage is unique, and every divorce case is individualized, there are some common proactive steps on how to avoid divorce and strengthen your marriage for the better.
WHAT CAN I DO TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE?
If you want to save your marriage, there are steps you can take to put your mind and body into the cause. While there are many common causes that can and should be addressed on individual bases, there are actions you can take and improve to help strengthen your marriage and get back into a healthy relationship. After all divorce costs don't only cause financial strain but are also emotional.
Communication is vital to all strong relationships, especially in a marriage where you tend to rely on your significant other heavily, and vice versa. Communication is a pathway to addressing problems, disagreements, or confusion in a relationship. It is also a huge part of creating feelings of intimacy. Sharing the ins and out's of one another's days can help you stay in each other's lives despite being busy with work, family, friends, and life. Prioritizing your communication, or dedicating a scheduled time to just talk with one another every day about your life, feelings or stories can help to increase your marriage's communication overall. This kind of dedication to communication also shows that the effort is there, even if communication is difficult for one or both of you.
Among those little things that really help to strengthen your marriage are also how you treat your partner, and yourself. People evolve and change. Your partner and you may not be the same person you were when you first got married. Take those extra steps to express your respect and appreciation for who they are today, and display that you are both happy and proud to have married them and to still be their partner. These are the kinds of affirmations everyone needs to stay confident in their relationships and themselves. It is rewarding to feel recognized and respected by your partner and is encouraging to continually remind ourselves why we honor our partners and want to be with them.
Continue to honor date night and intimate times with one another, whether they are a quick late-night run for ice cream or a weekend getaway. Losing physical and emotional touch with one another, such as less active sex life, less intimate communication about your day-to-day life, less frequent hugs and kisses on the cheek are common but can over time translate negatively in your marriage. Neglecting to make the effort to commit these even small acts of intimacy can make you and your partner feel rejected and ultimately grow apart. This is why it is important to openly express and display those efforts so that they can be translated into admiration and dedication to your relationship.
Taking care of yourself is also a major factor in strengthening your marriage that can be easily overlooked. Taking care of yourself by eating right, exercising, and keeping up appearances is not only to help maintain your physical attraction to one another. It also displays that you care about your partner enough to be there for them in a healthy, physical, dependent way. If you care about and for yourself, it is easier for your partner to care about and for you.
A lot of these topics address spending time together and reminding yourself to do the little things to continue to take care of each other throughout your marriage. However, marriage is about balance. Be aware of your partner needs some space. Don't hesitate to support them going out with just their friends for the night, spending time with their family or having to stay late to work. Make sure these other aspects of their, and your, life is balanced with date nights and attention and care to your marriage. This kind of awareness also feeds into the importance of not controlling your partner. Marriage should be about personal growth as much as it is about growth as a couple. Collaboration, not control, is an important key to a successful and balanced marriage.
Whether we like it or not, money is a big part of almost every aspect of our individual and shared lives. Individuals in a marriage may have different spending habits, financial expectations, and financial goals that can cause stress due to unexpected expenditures or diverging long-term goals. The differences in earnings between one spouse and another may also be a source of disagreement, insecurity, stress or frustration. Financial hardship due to the loss of a job, major expenses and bills, or just a hard year can also be a source of stress that can negatively impact communication in a marriage and cause even higher tensions. Financial burdens are daunting, but having to go through them alone, or feeling like you need to go through them alone, can only add to this stress and fear. Coming to an agreement on how to handle money as a couple is extremely important to a marriage. This agreement should and will likely address creating a budget for your household and a plan to approach debt so that you can live within your means. Differentiating between needs and wants is also a valuable conversation to have so that there is still flexibility in vacations, gifts and entertainment within your marriage.
If you are truly concerned that your marriage is headed towards separation or divorce and not only want to strengthen your marriage but also avoid divorce, it is important to banish divorce from your thoughts. Your negative mental energy can be detrimental to your motivation to help your marriage. A headspace that is thinking about divorce will make it difficult to improve its current marriage because it has already moved on to this more permanent solution to any of what might be temporary issues. Wanting to avoid divorce means having to put in the positive mental energy to try and make those marriage improvements happen.
Next steps
Next steps Applying these approaches to making your marriage work, while also staying aware of the potential signs of turmoil in your marriage can be powerful in helping save your marital relationship. There is hope for your marriage, and being proactive and open about how you want to approach strengthening your marriage is an effective way to save your relationship. If you need help or consultation on the next steps, whether you are looking to save or end your marriage, contact us