7 Tips to Prepare for Divorce in the New Year
The weeks leading up to the new year can be stressful with the holidays, shopping, hosting parties, and entertaining family. Naturally, people hope for the new year to bring a fresh start and they make resolutions relating to health, financial goals, and relationships to make sure it starts off accordingly. We find that the new year also brings an influx of divorce filings. If your marriage has been on the rocks for a while and you’re ready to move forward and file for divorce, read our top tips to prepare for a divorce in the new year.
1 - Organize Your Financials.
Make a list of all of the debts that you and your spouse have - both together and individually. Organize your bank statements for the year, your paystubs, credit card bills and any tax documents. It is also important to run a credit report for both you and your spouse to determine what you owe. Often, one spouse has little realization as to the debts the other spouse has incurred.
2 - Take Inventory of Your Assets.
Organize and make a list of all property that you and your spouse own - both together and individually. Here are some things to consider: real estate, vehicles, financial accounts, pensions and retirement accounts, stocks, mutual funds, business interests, life insurance, household items and furnishings, appliances, electronics, jewelry, art, collectibles, safe deposit boxes, etc. Take note of all your assets, their value, how much you still owe on them, and whether you believe they are separate or community property. Generally, anything that you owned before your marriage, or anything acquired by gift or inheritance, is considered separate property. Anything that you and your spouse acquired during your marriage is presumed to be community or marital property.
3 - Make Copies of Important Documents.
It is imperative to make copies of important paperwork and store them somewhere safely before filing for divorce. Keep in mind, we have seen angry spouses destroy or hide important documents once they hear their spouse is filing for divorce. It is better to be prepared right from the start so you aren’t scrambling to find these documents when your San Diego divorce attorney asks for them down the road. Some examples of important documents are real estate papers, vehicle titles and loans, estate planning documents, tax returns, insurance documents, social security cards, birth certificates, marriage certificates, passports, proof of income, etc.
4 - Clean up Your Social Media.
Anything you put on social media can be used against you. Take this time to go through some previous posts and clean them up if you need to. Anything that talks about your relationship, children, or financials should all be kept light-hearted and kind. We recommend taking a break from social media while going through a divorce so you don’t do or say anything in the heat of the moment that you will regret down the road. Now is not the time to speak badly about your spouse to others, especially if you don’t completely trust them to keep this information confidential.
5 - Build Your Support System.
Since you will be taking a break from social media, reach out to friends and spend time with them in person. You are going through a lot and your life is about to drastically change. It is incredibly important to surround yourself with trusted, loved ones that can be supportive of you through this journey. We also recommend consulting a professional therapist that will help you through this process alongside your family law attorney. Divorce is not something you should go through alone. Build your support system and take care of your physical and mental health. This will ensure you are best-prepared to handle everything thrown your way.
6 - Set up Consultations with San Diego Divorce Attorneys.
Now that you have done much of the prep work, it is time to set up consultations to help find the right divorce attorney for your case. Finding a divorce attorney is not a one size fits all situation. If there are children involved or complex property issues, it is in your best interest to find an experienced divorce attorney that knows how to best assess those issues and create a strategy to effectively deal with them. It is important that you interact well with your attorney and you feel like they listen to you. Each divorce is unique, so consider these important questions to ask during your consultation to ensure the lawyer is the best fit for your needs.
7 - Tell Your Spouse you are Ready for a Divorce.
This is quite possibly the hardest part of the process. By now, you’ve tried your best to make things work, but you know that divorce is the only viable solution in your relationship. Depending on your situation, having this conversation one to one isn’t necessarily ideal. If you are worried about your spouse being harmful towards you or themselves, it is important to not have this conversation with your spouse alone. Make sure to speak with your attorney and/or therapist while preparing for this conversation so they can help guide you through. Read our blog for some more tips to help you prepare to tell your spouse you want a divorce.
Going through a divorce is never easy. This is an incredibly challenging and emotional time in your life, so it’s important to surround yourself with supportive people to help you get through this. Things will get better and you will be on your way to starting your new life soon.
If you are considering divorce or you would like to learn more about your options, give us a call. As experienced family law attorneys, we have seen a substantial variety of situations. We would be honored to help support you through this difficult time. Remember that you are not alone and you will get through this.